HumpDay

Sorry for the radio silence, bitches. SO much to do, so little time. But, the Blog shouldn't suffer because of it. That's my bad. Here's a little something until I get more than 15 minutes to myself.

In case this Blog is your only source of News, since the last time we talked

-We F-ing did it! Black Team completed the BLACK HOLE and that booth will be ours FOREVER....Or til next year when someone does it longer....

-Wrote a 20 page paper on for my Seminar in Native American Women's Literature and completed my second portfolio

-bought a bottle of chocolate wine

-drank all the captain morgan at The Stretch and the best beer EVER!

All work is original designs of Joanne copyright The Stretch.

It's HumpDay so, we got a challenge tonight. Probably just throw down Black Team style. See ya in first place. Stay Sober.....for now!

Black, Out!

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DUI

Not a laughing matter guys. Last night, I was intoxicated---legally I would like to add. During my inebriated state, I unfortunately did something very terrible, something I am disgusted by. It will be with me for as long as I live, on my record. Last night, presumably between the hours of 11:30 and 2:00, I had my first DUI of the semester: Dining Under the Influence.

Due to the $1.75 Captain and Cokes yours truly was drinking during the entirety of Happy Hour, I was inappropriately drunk by 7:00. I did some things that I'm not proud of. But worst of all is the DUI. When I woke up this morning I saw it. Crumpled amongst my dirty clothes and loose papers sat the remains of a drive-thru McDonald's bag. YUCK!

For those of you who don't know, I hate fast food. I rarely eat sweets, cookies, or ice cream. I'm embarrassed by this. Sometimes, I'll even lie and tell people I have an allergy. I'm not a "health freak". I just feel like shit after eating those kinds of things. I know it's going to taste great and the 11 seconds it will spend in my mouth are going to be awesome, but after that it's PTSD: Post-Traumatic Stomach Disorder.

I'd like to take the time now to apologize to some people. To my fellow Black Teammates, I have let you down, I'm sorry I cannot hold myself to a higher standard, I have failed you as a role model. To whoever drove me to McDonald's, I'm sorry I don't remember. To Ronald McDonald, go fuck yourself you piece of shit clown. To my parents, stop calling me all the time, I'm fine. To LeBron James, go fuck yourself you piece of shit clown. . . . These aren't really apologies anymore. But, It's 9:42 A.M. on a Saturday and I'm at the bar literally by myself so deal with it.


Black Out

BLACK HOLE

Day 2. If you don't know. There's a reason! BLACK OUT!

From The Desk Of A Legend

Obviously, I tried to get in touch with J.Wilson (Read all about it HERE). Unfortunately, he was being harassed endlessly by Dos Equis to be the new "Most Interesting Man in the World". But, the light-weights iand their Mexican Beers couldn't hold a candle to to TEAM BLACK OUT. So, J. shotgunned a beer in the CEO's face and promptly responded to my E-mail. OMG! OMG! OMG! Check it out Blackies!

Chris,

I'd like to commend you and Team Black Out on your valiant effort. I've been called a lot of things, but never a "true inspiration" or "fucking champion," and I thank you for the additions to my resume. Let me take a moment to wish the drinkingest best to your brothers in tankards. As am I, you are in the midst of a marathon, not a hundred yard dash. Pace yourselves, put in the work and do not allow another team to usurp your glory. You deserve it, you are the Black, and I've got your back. You signed up for this simple challenge; this oath may as well have been written in blood. Let no small task, obligation, or excuse stand in your way. This cup of victory belongs to each of you. Do not let your team down. There will be no greater disgrace as long as you live. After your victory dance, with goblets aloft, consider your future. Make it the best you can for your family and your country. Live a life of good works, balanced and noble. Take quality over quantity at every turn, whether spouse or beer. Live well, you beer-soaked brothers of mine, you fucking champions!

Peace and Pints!

J.

God Amongst Men?

Is this the face of hope? Is this the inspiration we need? Role model may not be enough to express my respect for J. Wilson.

As I find myself and my teammates in the midst of our own 50 journey, our quest. I am emboldened by the actions of others. While we pledge our stomaches to the liquor and beer, we find solace in one man who shares our passion. That man is J. Wilson.

For 46 days, J. WIlson will consume only beer and water. "An ideal condition of harmony, beer and joy." Much like the Bvarian monks of yesteryear, Wilson has been pounding beer every single day during Lent. 


Dude isn't eating any food. This fucking champion has alcohol flowing through his veins!


The hunger stopped during the first week, Wilson said, and he has no designs to break his fast.


Not only does this dude chug brews like THE BLACK TEAM, he has the heart of a Blackie! "No question, I'd have to get hit by a bus to stop." From here on out J. Wilson said it would be, "just an exercise in discipline."


You hear that? HIT BY A BUS!  For all the people: 'waaaaah I have an exam, I can't go to the stretch' 'boooohoooo my tummy hurts from all the jager bombs' Ask yourselves: WWJWD What Would J. Wilson Do? And the answer is, inevitably, DRINK BEER!


 Discipline. Honor. Beer. Does it sound like the 50 Day Club? Yeah, I think so.


Check out J.Wilson's Blog. Might be the only dude on the internet cooler than me....or as cool at least:
http://brewvana.wordpress.com/

The Black Hole

Operation Black Hole is underway. Hide your kids.

Pre-Game

Just dropped by the registrar, added my 6th class. It's a second module only one. It meets 6 days a week at The Stretch. So, I've just been doing my homework. So, what if I haven't slept in 3 days? Who needs sleep when you've learned how to skillfully launch your shoes onto a table from 9 feet away?

Gotta get ready for tonight's exam! BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT!