Day 10: Dream On

Last night was tough. The Black Team lost. Period. We didn't win. We're not perfect. So what?

Last night put some things in perspective for me. Winning is great. It's awesome. We are the Black Team. We are inherently winners. But, the 50 DAY CLUB is more than about winning it's about family. It's about DREAMS.

LET US NOT WALLOW IN THE VALLEY OF DESPAIR, I SAY TO YOU TODAY, MY FRIENDS!

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day THE BLACK TEAM will rise up and live out the true meaning of our creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all teams are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the Jay-Walk, the sons of PURPS, GREEGREES, and REDNECKS will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood and DRINK, DRINK TOGETHER MY FRIENDS.

I have a DREAM today!

I have a dream that one day every BAR shall be exalted, and every SHOT OF WHISKEY shall be free, the WARM BEER will be made COLD, and the JUKEBOX will be a NICKEL; "and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together." 

I have a dream that my four little children.......I mean.....My 14 TEAMMATES will one day live in a nation where they will not be served beer by the color of their T-shirt but by the content of their character. 

I have a dream that one day, down in Alabama, one day right there in Alabama.....Did I say Alabama? I mean DELAWILD!.....One day in Delawild little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little RED boys and PURPLE girls as sisters and brothers.

50 DAY FAMILY! YA DIG!?!?!?

But there is something that I must say to my people, THE BLACKS who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice: THE BACKSTRETCH. In the process of gaining our TEAM POINTS, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. We will fight. We must not give up.

Let us seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of PBR and BLACK SWEDISH VIRGINS. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. The high stairs to THE CLUBHOUSE. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again, we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with alcohol and cheer. We will drink. We will drink together. 

We cannot walk alone. (especially after last call. it's just not safe.)

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead.

We cannot turn back.

Let the beers flow!

And when this happens, when we allow the beer to flow, when we let it flow from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, BLACK TEAM and REDNECKS, Jews and GREEGREES, PURPS and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old BLACK TEAM spiritual:

                 

                Free at last! Free at last!

                Thank God Almighty, the beer's free at last!

Day 9: Shi(r)t Show

"Awwwwwwwwww Shit son! You see that new Tee on dem Black Boyz?!?!?! That shits fresher den bananas in the produce section, ya herrrrrrrrrd me?"

          -Barack O'Bama when asked about The Black Team's new shirts

Shirts are done. Done done done. The paint is dry; the cotton is soft. (Yeah, I just used a semicolon in my blog. Got a problem? Suck my Dic....tionary) Let the good times roll! Can't wait to see me and the blackies reppin' our new logo! 

While I'm flying high about the shirts, I have terrible terrible news.

I can't be at tomorrow night's challenge. I figured it out on Sunday. My dance class (laugh it up) has a field trip to see some show at the Wexner Center in Columbus Wednesday at 8. I know, I know. SKIP IT! I would, but I told them I was a van driver so I'd be making a ton of people miss too. 

That's why I've worked so hard on the shirts, I was just really upset about letting all my illegitimate African-American teammates down. There is no excuse for a Captain to abandon his team in their hour of need. Vince Lombardi never ditched the Packers, Winston Churchill stuck next to the crooked-toothed English, even Big Bird always has Oscars back.  The black team doesn't back down. We sack up and black out. 

I'm sorry. I have a paper to write. I have more to say. But, for now, sorry is all I got. 

Day 8: Wardrobe Malfunction

Dudes,

T-shirtin' ain't easy. Those stencils I made of our favorite bartenders just didn't come out right on the 100% cotton Hanes no scratchy tag shirts. Life threw us some lemons. So we don't have shirts.

Did I say we don't have shirts? Because What I meant to say was, like an Andy Warhol-possessed-pirate-painter, I took lemons and made some Mike's Hard Lemonade. Mix in 7 hours of work, a splash of Mevans, a lot of Jimi Hendrix and a Becky Brinkman cherry on top and we got ourselves some goddam UNIFORMS!

I didn't do the backs yet. But it's smooth sailing from here on out. My face is fucking floating from huffing fumes all day. But, I love love love what we have. I let my team down when I said I would get Big Buck and Joanne on our shirts. For that, I am sorry. But, I'm proud of what has been created instead.

50 Day Family.

On a side note, still only bought alcoholic beverages from the Stretch.

JOANNE! MAKE IT A DOUBLE! 50 days long, 50 days strong. Black Team, over and out.

Day 6: New Jersey

It's almost 5 in the morning. My face is melting. My eyesballs have been microwaved. I've been playing Arts and Crafts for 4 hours. Probably looked something like this, to the untrained eye.

I'm not blogging for pity. I just want to explain why El Capitan was a no-show at the bar tonight. Greater Good, folks. I made two stencils for our shirts. I'm finally satisfied with the product. Haven't even figured out the alphabet yet. But, after rummaging through the Thomson Dumpster....what else can I do? Can't wait to make this shit legit tomorrow. Fashion designers like Gucci, Prada, and Marsha the Shift Manager at The Gap are already sending me e-mails wondering when I'll get around to doing a line exclusively for them.

I just told em: "These beers aren't gonna drink themselves. Call me in 44 days."

BLACKOUT

DAY 5: Family Meeting

"It's a little strong. That alright?"
FUCK YEAH! FIll 'em up. It's 11:45. Goddamn it's almost noon. Do I get points for getting my card signed in before noon??? It was quarter till noon and I'm already starting. Happy Friday, Black Team Style.

And who doesn't pregame a meeting? Watch MadMen? That was all the goddam rage in the forties. If the leader isn't drinking, how could he expect his team too?

Anyways, what a bunch of all-star, kick-ass, ninja, vatican assassin WINNERS we have on team BLACKOUT. We had a problem: Uhhh how we gonna make awesome t-shirts by Wednesday? And we crushed that shit, like a couple natty ice cans, we chugged the problem and smashed 'em on a Frat Forehead. T-shirts? In the bag.

CAn't wait to get everyone's sizes and make this shit is gonna be hotter than Lady gaga wearing a Kanye Jesus Chain inside an Egg, boiling in a volcano next to a shirtless Ryan Reynolds eating a banana....wait what?

Got my drinks in. But I'll see y''all Blackies late night at the spot,  The STRETCH that is.

 Over and Out.

Day 4: This Is Your Captain Speaking

One of the greatest honors a human can receive was bestowed upon me last night. In the holiest of locations amongst the prophets, diplomats, and leaders of our generation, I was chosen. I was named Captain of The Black Team.

While I accept the responsibilities, the duties, of Team Captain, the prestige, the fame, will be shared by us all. No one person can win the 50 Day Club. It's a club for a reason. It exist because of the community, the family, of drunken heroes who commit themselves to this sacred caused.

Oh and did I mention WE FUCKING ROCKED SHIT LAST NIGHT! Like a tiger-blooded, samurai, torpedo, we whooped ass in last night's challenge. While the puprs, rednekks, and greegrees, were stuck in the kiddie pool. The Momma Flippin Black Team was doing Cannonballs off the high dive. Drinking beers and hittin' on the Lifeguard. We dove to the bottom of the deep end and came up with a treasure chest of WINNING!

So what if we're a point back? We got the momentum. We got the trophy this week. For the next 50 days it's Black History Month! Ya Dig!?!?!??!

See y'all at the bar. Captain's Orders.

Day 3: For the Fallen

I wish I could have started sooner. But better late than later, ya know?

50 day club at The BackStrech. For the next 50 days it is officially The BLACKStretch, ya dig!?!?

I heard we lost 6 people the first day. The Rednecks, Purps, and Gree-Grees we're talking a big game. Saying their teams are stacked. Saying we don't have a chance. "We only lost one" "Nobody left are team". 

To losing 6 people here's what I say: It's sad: We'll weep for them. We'll remember them. We'll drink in their name. To The Fallen. Here, Here!

But, this is a battle, folks. The Black Team is here to blaze trails, to fight, to reinvent the wheel, to drink beer. Not to get scared, run from our problems. The 16 who remain are survivors. The 16 who remain fight. The 16 who remain believe. 

We lost six, but the strong live on. To the Strong! Here, Here!

Ooh Black Team

Here! Here!

Ooh Black Team 

Let's Get A Beer!

Ooh Black Team

Our Drinking Crew

Ooh Black Team

We Are OWU

Seeya at the CHALLENGE!